All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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