The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
