She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
