Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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