omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish I only lived at night.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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