Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
