how can u be prego again
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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