Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
