for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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