we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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