worst night to have a conscience
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I didn't notice because vodka
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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