my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
