Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
