a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
