Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
