she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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