Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
