I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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