There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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