What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
