There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
