I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
