But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
