The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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