standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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