Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
