just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
