we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Randomize
