Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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