You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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