Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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