Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
