She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize