let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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