last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
