wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
