There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
