My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
