Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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