After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
