you traded sex for a burrito?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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