Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
