I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
