Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In other news, I just burned my penis
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
