M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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