I think I died a long time ago.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
whose parrot is this?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
