you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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