she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
