Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
