Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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