After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
